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Saturday, August 12, 2017

The Sweet Life

It is the year 2085, and statistics prove that there are more dead people on Facebook than living. That's partly because hardly anyone joins Facebook anymore, now that AT&T provides unlimited Social Vid for only $800 per month with purchase of an iPhone Mark 90.  The last movie theater closed about 5 years ago.  

Pa took me to a movie show once. We saw Planet of the Apes 3000.  I still can't understand why anyone went to movie shows --  $75 per ticket, $60 for a soda and 3 years in prison if you were caught sneaking in candy from outside the theater.  Besides, you can see all of the latest movies in VR on YouTube courtesy of AT&T on the stunning Perfect Definition (tm) display of the iPhone Mark 90 with Retina-Vision (tm). Besides, there hasn't been a great movie in decades according to Pa, and I think he's right.  

Cool kids don't watch movies or play video games like Pa did when he was my age.  The Cool kids spend their summers on the Coast of Spain and drive around in their Chevy Camaro Hovercrafts.  I've been there every summer since I was 9.  It will be six years in a row this summer, and I'm still not clear why my school advisor insists that I need 3 years of foreign language classes to get into college. Heck I'm fluent in Espanol.

Mom and Dad don't spend much time at home now that they each have their own personal time machines  They're always going back in time to play the stock market with Grandpa and Grammy. We've inherited billions and there's more rolling in every day.  Yeah, it's a pretty sweet life, but someone's gotta do it and it may as well be me.